How do I get rid of (itchy) severe red and bumpy razor burn?!?

I was in a rush and dry shaved (I know I know! Very stupid idea) without water or anything with a brand new razor that said it self lubricated. About 15 minutes later I looked down and felt my legs BURNING, RED AND BUMPY! There are huge patches of red and bumpiness how do I get rid of the red and bumpiness quickly and easily while soothing my itchy legs?? PLEASE HELP!!!!